Daily life

Struggling: physically and mentally❤️

Hey beautiful❤️

I am so sorry it’s been so long since I have posted on here. Lately my life has been a mess. I have been struggling: mentally and physically.

Physically: I am in constant back and leg pain. My doctor thinks I have a mass in my stomach, that could be cancerous. So I may have cancer.

Mentally: I am so depressed. I have picked a lot of my eyelashes. Now it makes me feel so ugly.

I just feel so depressed and in constant pain. I don’t know how am I going to go to college in the fall. I can barely take a shower.

So just please keep me in your prayers❤️

I love you so much❤️

Thank you so much for reading❤️

-xoxo Renae💜

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Daily life

Hits Like A Hurricane💙

Hey beautiful!💜

Today I got a massage and it felt AMAZING!😍😍❤️ For about an hour I had NO PAIN! YAY HAPPY DANCE!😃😃

But now,

I am hurting again.

And it hit like a hurricane.💙

So now I am hurting really badly and feeling very down. I feel really down and depressed when I hurt like hell (excuse the language but it’s true).

Yeah so, I am just going to have to deal with the pain and keep going.

But I was wondering,

Would you guys like me to post my poetry on here?

Comment below!❤️

You can read ALL my books on Wattpad and my username is: @renaeloveswriting

You can find me on Twitter as @renaethewriter

You can find me on Instagram as @renaeloveswriting and on @jesusandmentalillness

So that’s that!

I hope you enjoyed this!

Thank you so much for reading!❤️

Remember to comment below if you want me to post my poetry!💜

I love you so much❤️

-xoxo Renae💙

Daily life

I am back and in pain💙

Hey beautiful!💜💕

I am sorry it’s been so long since I have posted, life is pretty busy when you are in college!

I have good news: my depression is MUCH better! So yay!😊💕

Bad news: I am being treated for fibromyalgia. I have been in pain for weeks. Today I saw the doctor and he is starting me on pain medicines. So physically I have been horrible. In pain all the time. So yeah, it’s been rough.

But I am making. Just taking it one day at a time. Sometimes I get really depressed when I hurt very badly. But that’s just life with fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and bipolar.

Good news: in college I am doing great! I got a 90 on my paper I had to write! Yay! I also decided to follow my dream and major in writing! (You can check out all my writing on wattpad, my username is: @renaeloveswriting )

I am pretty excited about being a writing major💜💕😊

I hope you all are doing great!❤️

Thank you for listening!💜

I love you all!💕

-xoxo Renae💜💕❤️

Daily life

Doing SO MUCH Better💜💕

Hey guys!

I have great news: I am doing SOO much better!

It turns out, me feeling depressed was just because I was so anxious over starting college. I started college last week and IT IS AWESOME!😱👍🏻 I made two new friends, love my classes, and my teachers. I am very excited about it!

Since I have started college, my mood has gotten sooooo much better! I feel like myself again.😊💕

I decided my major to be in:

(Drum roll please)

MUSIC!

I want to be a singer and songwriter! I started voice lessons and I started back singing at my church.

I am very excited about what college holds for me, where my career in music will go, having new friends, and having a stable mood.

Things are looking up and I am excited about it❤️💕💜

Thank you for listening! I hope you have a wonderful day! I love you so much💕

-xoxoRenae☀️

Daily life

Dying on the inside

Hey guys…

So,

I am not doing so great.

I think I am depressed again….

(Sigh)

I just feel so down and depressed all the time.

I see my therapist tomorrow. We will see what he says.

I start college on Thursday.

I don’t know how I am going to handle doing college and being depressed.

But I have to.

I just keep thinking about death. Today there was this car coming towards me while I was walking. I really wanted it to hit me.

(Sigh)

Yeah so,

I am dying on the inside.

But I am still here. I am still making. I am just going to put on foot in front of the other.

Thank you guys for listening!

I love you so much!

-xoxo Renae❤️

Daily life

Hey! I am back!

Hey beautiful!💜

I hope you haven’t forgotten about me!

I know it’s been forever since I have posted. I hope you are not to upset at me.

Anyways, since the last time I posted: I did ECT treatments, got on a new medicine, and now I am doing much better. I am still struggling with mood swings. Lately my anxiety has been very high. Probably because I am starting college on Thursday!😱😱

Shocking, I know! I am super excited, nervous, scared, and stressed. I am really ready to get my first day over with. I hope it goes great! I am only taking three classes this semester. But sadly, I have an 8:00 a.m. class😫👎🏻 I will be okay😂 I am making it!

I hope you enjoyed this! I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you for reading. Love you❤️

-xoxo Renae💜