Daily life

Hits Like A Hurricane๐Ÿ’™

Hey beautiful!๐Ÿ’œ

Today I got a massage and it felt AMAZING!๐Ÿ˜๐Ÿ˜โค๏ธ For about an hour I had NO PAIN! YAY HAPPY DANCE!๐Ÿ˜ƒ๐Ÿ˜ƒ

But now,

I am hurting again.

And it hit like a hurricane.๐Ÿ’™

So now I am hurting really badly and feeling very down. I feel really down and depressed when I hurt like hell (excuse the language but it’s true).

Yeah so, I am just going to have to deal with the pain and keep going.

But I was wondering,

Would you guys like me to post my poetry on here?

Comment below!โค๏ธ

You can read ALL my books on Wattpad and my username is: @renaeloveswriting

You can find me on Twitter as @renaethewriter

You can find me on Instagram as @renaeloveswriting and on @jesusandmentalillness

So that’s that!

I hope you enjoyed this!

Thank you so much for reading!โค๏ธ

Remember to comment below if you want me to post my poetry!๐Ÿ’œ

I love you so muchโค๏ธ

-xoxo Renae๐Ÿ’™

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Daily life

Still in pain but better mood!๐Ÿ’œ

Hey beautiful๐Ÿ’œ

So lately I have been in pain from fibromyalgia, ALL THE TIME! It’s been kicking my ass. I have also been very depressed from it.

But today, I am still in pain but I am in a better mood! I am enjoying this better mood!โค๏ธ

I have been doing stuff today!๐Ÿ’•

It’s been a good day!๐Ÿ’œ

Thank you so much for reading! I love you so muchโค๏ธ

-xoxo Renae๐Ÿ’œ

Daily life

I am back and in pain๐Ÿ’™

Hey beautiful!๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•

I am sorry it’s been so long since I have posted, life is pretty busy when you are in college!

I have good news: my depression is MUCH better! So yay!๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’•

Bad news: I am being treated for fibromyalgia. I have been in pain for weeks. Today I saw the doctor and he is starting me on pain medicines. So physically I have been horrible. In pain all the time. So yeah, it’s been rough.

But I am making. Just taking it one day at a time. Sometimes I get really depressed when I hurt very badly. But that’s just life with fibromyalgia, depression, anxiety, social anxiety, and bipolar.

Good news: in college I am doing great! I got a 90 on my paper I had to write! Yay! I also decided to follow my dream and major in writing! (You can check out all my writing on wattpad, my username is: @renaeloveswriting )

I am pretty excited about being a writing major๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ˜Š

I hope you all are doing great!โค๏ธ

Thank you for listening!๐Ÿ’œ

I love you all!๐Ÿ’•

-xoxo Renae๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•โค๏ธ

Daily life

Doing SO MUCH Better๐Ÿ’œ๐Ÿ’•

Hey guys!

I have great news: I am doing SOO much better!

It turns out, me feeling depressed was just because I was so anxious over starting college. I started college last week and IT IS AWESOME!๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ‘๐Ÿป I made two new friends, love my classes, and my teachers. I am very excited about it!

Since I have started college, my mood has gotten sooooo much better! I feel like myself again.๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ’•

I decided my major to be in:

(Drum roll please)

MUSIC!

I want to be a singer and songwriter! I started voice lessons and I started back singing at my church.

I am very excited about what college holds for me, where my career in music will go, having new friends, and having a stable mood.

Things are looking up and I am excited about itโค๏ธ๐Ÿ’•๐Ÿ’œ

Thank you for listening! I hope you have a wonderful day! I love you so much๐Ÿ’•

-xoxoRenaeโ˜€๏ธ

Daily life

Dying on the inside

Hey guys…

So,

I am not doing so great.

I think I am depressed again….

(Sigh)

I just feel so down and depressed all the time.

I see my therapist tomorrow. We will see what he says.

I start college on Thursday.

I don’t know how I am going to handle doing college and being depressed.

But I have to.

I just keep thinking about death. Today there was this car coming towards me while I was walking. I really wanted it to hit me.

(Sigh)

Yeah so,

I am dying on the inside.

But I am still here. I am still making. I am just going to put on foot in front of the other.

Thank you guys for listening!

I love you so much!

-xoxo Renaeโค๏ธ

Daily life

Hey! I am back!

Hey beautiful!๐Ÿ’œ

I hope you haven’t forgotten about me!

I know it’s been forever since I have posted. I hope you are not to upset at me.

Anyways, since the last time I posted: I did ECT treatments, got on a new medicine, and now I am doing much better. I am still struggling with mood swings. Lately my anxiety has been very high. Probably because I am starting college on Thursday!๐Ÿ˜ฑ๐Ÿ˜ฑ

Shocking, I know! I am super excited, nervous, scared, and stressed. I am really ready to get my first day over with. I hope it goes great! I am only taking three classes this semester. But sadly, I have an 8:00 a.m. class๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ‘Ž๐Ÿป I will be okay๐Ÿ˜‚ I am making it!

I hope you enjoyed this! I hope you have an amazing day. Thank you for reading. Love youโค๏ธ

-xoxo Renae๐Ÿ’œ

Daily life

I am not doing so great…

Hey guys! I am so sorry it’s been a while since I have posted.

So I got better for a few days. I saw my doctor and he didn’t changed my medicines. Everything was great!

And then,

I crashed.

I got depressed and suicidal. I cut myself to. So now I am still suicidal and depressed. I am not cutting right now (yay!) but I still have the thoughts. My doctor is currently on vacation and I am over here being depressed and suicidal. Not fair! So I am waiting for a call about starting ECT treatments. I increased my medicines so hopefully that will help.

I am depressed, stressed, exhausted, and suicidal. Bipolar sucks. 

I am making it. I promise you guys I am safe. I WILL NOT cut again. I just making. I am praying that something works like my medicines or ECT. I just want to get better. 

Everyone is starting back school but I am taking a semester off of college. I am not ready for college and that’s okay.

So, I will keep going. Things aren’t so good but I am here. I am alive and I am making it.

Thank you so much listening!

I love you all!๐Ÿ’œ

-xoxo Renae๐Ÿ’•